Those days...

just found a website with ALL the DMC3 cut scenes, got all the funny ones too...

anyway its been a tiring week so far, monday wednesday and friday had national day practise, tuesday had comserv, thursday i can't remember, friday after school had the atmospheric meeting, that actually was the only interesting thing in the week.

i just been thinking about gifts and God-given abilities, and after much discussion with my father, i have to realised several point i like to shard:
1) No one has 0 gift/abilities...if you actually had none, then how can his glory shine in your life for everything is your effort?
2)With gifts come responsibility: there is no way that he gave it for you to show off and etc, he meant it for you to do his will, spread the good news!

unfortunately i have no idea what gifts i have, i try so hard to make each day the best, but i'm always left behind, i can not find that light in me, not yet, soon maybe

congrats to tts for becoming youth com member, your best friend here is encouraging you to do your best! and let not your age,maturity and personal matters stop you, you heard joshua, he grew up with them, among them, in maturity and spiritually, bring back the golden age to the youths!(sadly you and janice are the only two in our lvl...and now i'm starting to think what the others are thinking?)

been think lots, my throat hurt a bit, hard to swollow...need more rest, been working lots...now i think that i'm more of a supporter than the leader or headstrong person i was thought of...more backline than front,the old fears cloud my judgement, my new-found strength pushes me forward,my faith remains unscattered,my life no worse than before,but better even with synical people in the np squad.

i been living on lots of junk food and ok meals, hungry recesses and basketball games, between lessons naps, being "dao-ed" by the "hip" gamers gang and the "cool" club in class,i feel that everything is so stupid in class, people "living" on dota instead of proper food, being "cool" at the cost of your attitude in class, being who i am for what i am, not living up to people's expectations of me...

i have learnt lessons from the most unlearnable places. they say dota trains teamwork,if thats so true, then i learnt lots for just staring at a pile of empty CDs. i learnt that poser aren't what my classmates think they are, they think i'm a poser, what is a poser? someone who stands out?or someone who copies others?i'm option one...so bug off, i'm being who i am, that is special, no one is the same, everyone is special...

why do i do things that i do? cos i know i can do it, and others can't...why do i still help teachers with setting up their computers? cos i know i can,and my understudy is lazing around...so if i do this, am i a poser? what complicated definition is attached to such a simple word so that students have an excuse to shout at another...

so what am i? a human, prone to flaws, fighting for what i believe is right in a world of mysteries, a swordbearer of destruction or aid?i'll figure out, one day...

music crazy, flag crazy, uniform crazy, busy crazy

don't ask me how...how i can be sure...how i know its not just something up for fun...cos it's so real, so real in my life, you picked me up and turned my universe around...

these few weeks have been one of the craziest and tiring weeks of my sec3 sch life, work till 1am, sleep less than usually, more energy used during the day

one: i have a bit crazy for music..especially since my bro just got himself an ipod, so i get his old mp3 player to put music in...pretty neat

two: i have become flagbearer for the npcc land unit of my school, tiring but fun..so much responsibility on the flagbearers cos we can't afford to screw up...so every alternate day is a training for either the all the contingents or just the guard of honor or the flag bearers...and i'm the shortest flagbearer..and i learnt most of the commands in one day...so my brain has been a bit fried...

third: basket ball, yay...3.14 found their class basket ball, time for regular playing...so sad my class only got four guys wanna play

fourth: uniform...ya, flagbearers got this really nice uniform called the " number 1"...only problem its kept in the NPCC HQ....got to go all the way to there and back again...so far...

fifth: i got homework...group work to be exact but i got no group...only just me and daniel song working on a 9-men project....a bit stressed out...but i bet you that we'll do a better job..(one reason is because that 9 men group have 7 slackers..)

and lets not forget no 6: CCA....compser is getting screwed up...so many sec1s and 2s just wanna play....and all the seniors have no power...yet...if we get any form of power>>>>WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA...they're in for a whipping of their lives...how many push ups can they do? lets find out!

i still spend majority of my time during very normal school stuff in school...sitting next to a guy who spend most of his awake time making crappy comments...sleeping in EVERY lesson..not scoring well, next to him is a guy who is the TOP in class...but he got problem in his head...cos he only talks to either shawn or binru...dao me lah...daniel song and louis are on the other end of class...kt is in front...henry is a bit far to talk too....i'm being accused of stupid things like distrubing class for just opening my mouth is put out a point in physics class...( hey, i'm not the slacker..i like the sciences...includes physics...not like the guy on my right ....hold day just RECESS and FOOTBALL and....nvm)

i have made a few names in class....for the teachers is "the hard working IT rep"...for shawn tan and bing xuan its " the damn-extra guy, spoil fun, dota loser"...(pls i don't even play dota or cs at home...how you expect me to beat you who plays everyday and talks about it every second....) for some people like song and louis and henry and kt it's like " good friend" ....how i miss something...i just can't remember what i actually miss...the fact that i can't knock some arrogant game manic face or the fact that i actually enjoy life a bit more now....i just can't seem to put my finger on it...

i for one want some time to talk to my friends from church...cos the lives of my friends from school are ok...its those guys from church that i feel that i have to help..they are a more crazy bunch of people...i shall not talk anymore

Alpha Weekend

wow...it just totally rocks your socks off...quite literally...

for those of you reading this, you should have gone and i should have informed you of this..so sorry...

sorry i can't indulge in more detail till i can sort out my thoughts and type again

very inconvient

as those of you might know...this new blog setting is very uncomfortable....might change it back today

selfpity

what is selfpity? i been asked by my friend this question...

he's a aceA-er from the pri sch to now, despite the stress he gets everyday, he still puts his best and can't always get full As..he's busy with track,AEP,keeping his life in school and church in check..he was one of this blog and its predesscer's top visitor, yet he suffers from such small matters such as a brief period of depression, and selfpity

he's my best friend,tts, told me "i used to think 'aep,church,school,trac,so much stress to handle, then it suddenly hits him, 'IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT, QUIT' "and then he knew that he had been actually giving himself excuses for the last one year for everything wrong in his life, pitying his condition, then he met my blog...he help me wake a bit from falling in the same condition..despite that life's been not that nice to anyone...

so you're gonna ask: " how does that affect enough to write this post?" well my other friend sort of has this problem. this friend is suffering silently, tts and i just colaborated to try and help that friend. i believe that noone should suffer like tomorrow is crap, he/she is trying so hard, i actually wonder if its not of his/her friends that he/she's so stressed into thinking that s/he's not good enough for life, stressed into depression.

"help that friend, you inconsiderate fool!" thats what some of you think of me i guess up to now. how do i help people? i know not how to do so. tts,i and that friend are almost like worlds apart...the selfpity that i once held tells me that i can never help anyone. but i know i have to .

that selfpity is holding back people from who they truely are, hurting you for no reason, don't make it a home in your heart. i am planing several moves to help that friend, and the only thing that holding me back is that selfpity... nothing is going to stop me from helping my friends...nothing will stop me from protecting them from themselves

ps on the lighter note...hope you like this background..i;m trying to get a better background pic...so hold on

commenting others

i recently have been doing lots of hw...too much maybe...so i wasn't posting

i have taken now a role of a comment poster..and have been posting at a rather infamous blog now....what drives a Christian to believe that posting of nude pictures of herself is considered ok?

personnally i have never believed in this, pornography and such stuff are all bullshit, they should have just burned down those things long time ago...(of course its hard to do so, thats why they are still standing)....nude pictures of herself is testing the laws of everything...

so take your stand, i have. and i will NOT stop until i know what i'm doing is right and will help others....

ps..when i'm free i might do a research in the bible...will need help