Dragging my bum life along
technically, school is out. but i have to study like a mad hamster (but not like THE hamster). i actually like hamsters (the animal,not the person). kind of tired.
brother fell sick today. probably the first time i visited the clinic and i'm not the sick person. haha. usually i fall sick. my bro thinks i should work out more.
i finally realize that every time i change my msn nick, that someone tries to start a conversation using my nick, and typically trying to one-up what i state in my nick. if you want to talk, i get it, just talk.just don't impose your ideas on me and don't try to prove that you're my superior.
the only thing i really regret in acs is that i've thrust myself into an environment where everyone is leagues smarter than me. it becomes demoralizing to know your best will never be noticed, outsiders expect ridiculous things of me because of a stereotype. otherwise, i've had a decent life: made some good friends, cut a few bad habits; pissed off a few jerks (they were asking for it).
just because i don't play WoW or DoTA, don't like expensive stuff, have a excellent mind at random trivia, tend to jump into other people conversations, doesn't mean i have no life or i'm a disease to be avoided. "i don't like" doesn't equate to "i never tried and hate for no reason", i do experiment with games (especially sine i did work in the school's LAN shop) and i do see the adverse result on gamers (i have 4 years of viewing experience).
come to think of it, the most fun times in school were when:
1) with my friends
2) sports (but not swimming, developed a small sense of aquaphobia, due to hives-which also cultivated a small sense of heliophobia though that can be medically justified)(aqua=refers to water; helio=refers to sun, in this case heliophobia is the fear of sunlight)
3) when i'm not playing in the LAN shop (which was sparse in the first two years, but the time increased in later 2 years)
you see, when i'm not taking a gaming-break, i'm either doing work, or sarcastically joking the annoying gamers while i do repairs or duty. (they were asking for it too). and it becomes a really fun past-time to come up with random stuff to make dull work interesting. i actually miss those times (not the annoying gamers, but just doing things to make the job interesting). to paraphrase the experience, its like a IT House...with less knowledge,experience,but more juniors.
and of course, as my status as the bottom of the information chain, i have finally received info of the massive breakups in school. not that it really bothered me in the first place. 1 tenth of the level population is female, 8 tenth of the level population guys get attached or are already attached. i form part of the 1 tenth who couldn't give two dimes about it. i know i make a generalization, but i are SERIOUSLY tired of this emphasis on relationships. it bugs me to the extent i have nightmares about it. i definitely want my lunch money fund, and my gaming fund, and my comic book fund...the list of funds goes on until i run out of simple pleasures to list (list includes breakfast, dinner, RAM card, book, snacks. wait i think that's it)
at least when i bring this up with my family, they honestly tell me what they think, which is comforting.
i once talked to someone about this, and he said you should write down good things about yourself. well, i don't trust this advice, and as counter-productive as it sounds, i will list down reason why i cannot bother to enter into a relationship:
1) I have a bad memory. contrary to my great recall ability, i have horrible memory. i have problems remembering details like lets say birthday dates? (i even forgot my own for a year)
2) I don't talk a lot. i realize that i do not know a lot of topics to talk about, nor am i good at reading body language or subtle hints.
3) am a horrible gift buyer. no question about it.
4) (if i think of another reason, i'll remember to bring it up another time)
i believe in counter-intuitive ideas. not to mention bringing up these points help clear my mind.
brother fell sick today. probably the first time i visited the clinic and i'm not the sick person. haha. usually i fall sick. my bro thinks i should work out more.
i finally realize that every time i change my msn nick, that someone tries to start a conversation using my nick, and typically trying to one-up what i state in my nick. if you want to talk, i get it, just talk.just don't impose your ideas on me and don't try to prove that you're my superior.
the only thing i really regret in acs is that i've thrust myself into an environment where everyone is leagues smarter than me. it becomes demoralizing to know your best will never be noticed, outsiders expect ridiculous things of me because of a stereotype. otherwise, i've had a decent life: made some good friends, cut a few bad habits; pissed off a few jerks (they were asking for it).
just because i don't play WoW or DoTA, don't like expensive stuff, have a excellent mind at random trivia, tend to jump into other people conversations, doesn't mean i have no life or i'm a disease to be avoided. "i don't like" doesn't equate to "i never tried and hate for no reason", i do experiment with games (especially sine i did work in the school's LAN shop) and i do see the adverse result on gamers (i have 4 years of viewing experience).
come to think of it, the most fun times in school were when:
1) with my friends
2) sports (but not swimming, developed a small sense of aquaphobia, due to hives-which also cultivated a small sense of heliophobia though that can be medically justified)(aqua=refers to water; helio=refers to sun, in this case heliophobia is the fear of sunlight)
3) when i'm not playing in the LAN shop (which was sparse in the first two years, but the time increased in later 2 years)
you see, when i'm not taking a gaming-break, i'm either doing work, or sarcastically joking the annoying gamers while i do repairs or duty. (they were asking for it too). and it becomes a really fun past-time to come up with random stuff to make dull work interesting. i actually miss those times (not the annoying gamers, but just doing things to make the job interesting). to paraphrase the experience, its like a IT House...with less knowledge,experience,but more juniors.
and of course, as my status as the bottom of the information chain, i have finally received info of the massive breakups in school. not that it really bothered me in the first place. 1 tenth of the level population is female, 8 tenth of the level population guys get attached or are already attached. i form part of the 1 tenth who couldn't give two dimes about it. i know i make a generalization, but i are SERIOUSLY tired of this emphasis on relationships. it bugs me to the extent i have nightmares about it. i definitely want my lunch money fund, and my gaming fund, and my comic book fund...the list of funds goes on until i run out of simple pleasures to list (list includes breakfast, dinner, RAM card, book, snacks. wait i think that's it)
at least when i bring this up with my family, they honestly tell me what they think, which is comforting.
i once talked to someone about this, and he said you should write down good things about yourself. well, i don't trust this advice, and as counter-productive as it sounds, i will list down reason why i cannot bother to enter into a relationship:
1) I have a bad memory. contrary to my great recall ability, i have horrible memory. i have problems remembering details like lets say birthday dates? (i even forgot my own for a year)
2) I don't talk a lot. i realize that i do not know a lot of topics to talk about, nor am i good at reading body language or subtle hints.
3) am a horrible gift buyer. no question about it.
4) (if i think of another reason, i'll remember to bring it up another time)
i believe in counter-intuitive ideas. not to mention bringing up these points help clear my mind.
posted by Titus Leon at
10:19 PM
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