Saturday, January 30, 2010

long time no see

i've been very busy the last....i lost count of the months and days.

honestly, i'm tired. i feel stressed, worried: about my application to university, my lack of much social life, arrgghhh. i don't really care about the social scene. i don't go clubbing (i have a hard time with blasting bass, it actually hurts a bit), i don't go pub-ing (i have poor alcohol tolerance), WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? i'm a bookworm through and through, leave me in a library. NO ONE AROUND ME READS COMICS. DUNGEON AND DRAGONS IS TURNING INTO THE WORST INVESTMENT OF TIME EVER. HONESTLY, PPLE WHO CONSIDER THIS TO BE A SOCIAL EVENT NEED TO CONSIDER IF TALKING ABOUT VOLUMES OF RULES AND FICTIONAL MONSTERS AND ETC. SHOULD BE CONSIDERED AS CONVERSATION, IT"S MORE LIKE CONVERSING WITH A ENCYCLOPEDIA...THERE IS NO CONVERSATION.

STOP SHOUTING AT ME AS IF I BLAME YOU FOR EVERYTHING, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO BE LESS OF A SELFISH PROFITEERING BASTERD. HONESTLY, A GUY AFRAID BECOMING TAN IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING. A GRADUATE FROM AN ELITE SCHOOL CANNOT SLOW DOWN AND THINK, ASSUMING MAKES AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME AND EVERYONE ELSE. ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

HONESTLY, WHY BOTHER WITH A MOBILE PHONE IF YOU DON'T PICK UP? AND WHY BOTHER LISTENING IF YOU JUST RUSH TO HANG UP?

CHECK BACK, WRITE DOWN, SLOW DOWN, IS IT THAT HARD!?!?!

THERE IS NO POINT IN BEING INDECISIVE.

what i learnt so far, booksmart people (including myself) suck. WE SUCK. CAPITAL S,U,C,K; SUCK.

what i've seen so far: i've met smart pple who would cause dangers and revel in destruction. pple who need to punctuate sentences with physical threats, smart pple who are also selfish basterds. smart pple who have no direction and no purpose, smart pple who are more blur than a blank book. pple whose extravagant habits are extremely insensitive to others. pple with no common sense.

i have also seen the other end of the spectrum, pple who have shed sweat, blood alongside me, pulling me along while i was still dead weight. family who show undying support, brother and brothers who would pull me up and push me on. men who spur me on to greater heights.

i trust this as an avenue of last resort, because i don't know where else i can scream. i don't need to talk to another person, i just need to SCREAM into the air and let it all out. because in the end, there is no other person left in this world for me.

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