life always goes on
i'm on off this week. much needed sleep can be gained back this week.
reflection today: expectations
I honestly hope no one expects much of me, because i know i do of some. A lot of times i expect my family to cut me some slack regarding small things. i expect my future girlfriend to be understanding of my weirdness. i expect competence out of my peers. Am i expecting too much?
When did i begin to expect so much of people? Why do i expect so much? How much is too much and how much is too little?
Should i be asking what happened to my carefree existence exactly one year ago? I'm sure i never expected anything out of army, I didn't care if i became officer, specialist or trooper. All i knew was if there was something to learn, just go all out; if my buddies wanted to hit the moon, i'll make sure i was there to give him a boost; if work needed to be done, i would help. One year later, i feel that i'm no longer that boy. I feel like a little beaten down, washed down version of that boy.
Sometimes i wonder, can time be reversed? I want to go back to the times when hope still rang loud in the sky, fun was always in grasp, when we ran freely in the sun through the sand towards to the horizon.
Am i expecting too much of myself? of life itself?
(end)
on a side note, some people say that army is the death reaper of relationships. I say folly. Its the people who make things break, like how only a person can murder another while the a gun merely shoots another. Humans just blame the most convenient thing. Don't expect too much of your other, just imagine army to be any other full-time job (well, army IS a full time job). It isn't like those puppydog loveydovey days in school, individual pain and worries. time together is limited, time apart extended, sometimes there is no time at all. you honestly can't expect him to surrender all his weekend to you, like how you don't like it when he's free but you got exams tomorrow and he bugs you. no excuse for either side to ignore any chances, sometimes you have to burn more to earn more. and if you two can pull through this two years, there is chance of more in the future, otherwise...
it sucks sometimes, having to watch others struggle, their worlds fall apart, but you can't be there to help pick up the pieces.
reflection today: expectations
I honestly hope no one expects much of me, because i know i do of some. A lot of times i expect my family to cut me some slack regarding small things. i expect my future girlfriend to be understanding of my weirdness. i expect competence out of my peers. Am i expecting too much?
When did i begin to expect so much of people? Why do i expect so much? How much is too much and how much is too little?
Should i be asking what happened to my carefree existence exactly one year ago? I'm sure i never expected anything out of army, I didn't care if i became officer, specialist or trooper. All i knew was if there was something to learn, just go all out; if my buddies wanted to hit the moon, i'll make sure i was there to give him a boost; if work needed to be done, i would help. One year later, i feel that i'm no longer that boy. I feel like a little beaten down, washed down version of that boy.
Sometimes i wonder, can time be reversed? I want to go back to the times when hope still rang loud in the sky, fun was always in grasp, when we ran freely in the sun through the sand towards to the horizon.
Am i expecting too much of myself? of life itself?
(end)
on a side note, some people say that army is the death reaper of relationships. I say folly. Its the people who make things break, like how only a person can murder another while the a gun merely shoots another. Humans just blame the most convenient thing. Don't expect too much of your other, just imagine army to be any other full-time job (well, army IS a full time job). It isn't like those puppydog loveydovey days in school, individual pain and worries. time together is limited, time apart extended, sometimes there is no time at all. you honestly can't expect him to surrender all his weekend to you, like how you don't like it when he's free but you got exams tomorrow and he bugs you. no excuse for either side to ignore any chances, sometimes you have to burn more to earn more. and if you two can pull through this two years, there is chance of more in the future, otherwise...
it sucks sometimes, having to watch others struggle, their worlds fall apart, but you can't be there to help pick up the pieces.
posted by Titus Leon at
11:10 PM
3 Comments
