worth
today's topic "worth" is brought to you by the letters W, O, R, T, H, and the number 5!
arguably, it must be one of the hardest things to quantify: worth. and of course defining 'worth' is another trouble: worth to others? worth to society? self-worth?
after the simple task of deciding on what worth depicts, you have to wonder: do you have worth? are you worthy of the task assigned or the dream you always want?
i cannot conclude, just how much i am worthy of: of attention, of supervision, of love, of hate. its no longer the issue of being under-appreciated, but of over-appreciation. what if i'm not what people expect me to be? what if i cannot live up to their expectations? what if i practically don't exist because i am relatively low-profile in almost all areas of my life?
just becos i never participated in science competitions doesn't mean i don't have a avid (though rather idealistic) interest in science. i fear that i will lose out eventually, cos i don't have such pedigree in such areas. doesn't mean i never tried, doesn't mean i'm horrible at it. doesn't mean i never took an IQ test my whole life that i have horrible IQ (i'm personally too lazy to actually sit through one). but thats all the world wants to see, results and grades. the intangible cannot be quantified and for most cases the intangible goes largely ignored. makes you wonder why anyone brought up in such a society would risk neck and limb for others? because that is what defines a person: not only what he does for himself, but more importantly what he does for others, and what he does that no one sees.
what he does himself shows his potential in his growth and his motivation that drives him to achieve it. what he does for others shows external concern for his peers. what he does that no one sees truly determines what kind of person he is.
If he grumbles about others behind their backs, there is not much to trust about him is there? you can make him happy, but once you make him angry, he'll badmouth you to kingdom come while you're not in the same room.
If his actions contradict what he does for others, then he's a hypocrite. you can't trust him because he's just putting up a show for others.
If he is truly a gentleman, then you'll won't see much difference. he is what he was in front of others, he is not hiding anything, consistently putting others before himself.
but these are like intangible qualities that not many get time to analyze.
then what is worth if you can't seem to match up to expectations? what if i don't think i can meet goal and find the courage to do anything? what if gaining self-esteem is like fighting a losing battle? when false confidence stumbles into cocky behaviour and eventually a screwed up personality?
(i rather continue, but i realize of something more important to say)
so i simply conclude that i cannot find my worth...not enough...it always fall short of everything.
arguably, it must be one of the hardest things to quantify: worth. and of course defining 'worth' is another trouble: worth to others? worth to society? self-worth?
after the simple task of deciding on what worth depicts, you have to wonder: do you have worth? are you worthy of the task assigned or the dream you always want?
i cannot conclude, just how much i am worthy of: of attention, of supervision, of love, of hate. its no longer the issue of being under-appreciated, but of over-appreciation. what if i'm not what people expect me to be? what if i cannot live up to their expectations? what if i practically don't exist because i am relatively low-profile in almost all areas of my life?
just becos i never participated in science competitions doesn't mean i don't have a avid (though rather idealistic) interest in science. i fear that i will lose out eventually, cos i don't have such pedigree in such areas. doesn't mean i never tried, doesn't mean i'm horrible at it. doesn't mean i never took an IQ test my whole life that i have horrible IQ (i'm personally too lazy to actually sit through one). but thats all the world wants to see, results and grades. the intangible cannot be quantified and for most cases the intangible goes largely ignored. makes you wonder why anyone brought up in such a society would risk neck and limb for others? because that is what defines a person: not only what he does for himself, but more importantly what he does for others, and what he does that no one sees.
what he does himself shows his potential in his growth and his motivation that drives him to achieve it. what he does for others shows external concern for his peers. what he does that no one sees truly determines what kind of person he is.
If he grumbles about others behind their backs, there is not much to trust about him is there? you can make him happy, but once you make him angry, he'll badmouth you to kingdom come while you're not in the same room.
If his actions contradict what he does for others, then he's a hypocrite. you can't trust him because he's just putting up a show for others.
If he is truly a gentleman, then you'll won't see much difference. he is what he was in front of others, he is not hiding anything, consistently putting others before himself.
but these are like intangible qualities that not many get time to analyze.
then what is worth if you can't seem to match up to expectations? what if i don't think i can meet goal and find the courage to do anything? what if gaining self-esteem is like fighting a losing battle? when false confidence stumbles into cocky behaviour and eventually a screwed up personality?
(i rather continue, but i realize of something more important to say)
so i simply conclude that i cannot find my worth...not enough...it always fall short of everything.
posted by Titus Leon at
3:30 PM
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