going bonkers

honestly....i'm not pretty sure how i lasted so long...but so far i'm still sane

i've just screwed up my chem test...all my graphs are wrong...thats 10 marks out of the whole thing....i'm in depression and denial...i'm denying that i'm depressed.....

worse of all, this completely effects my emotions and mood swings....so now i'm a potential crazy bomb if someone ticks me off.......i'm not strong enough to really hurt someone...but you wouldn't want a semi-crazed guy on your back either....so ya

i've finish the ichigo mask design...but haven't got the time to post it on deviant art....so i'm holding on to it for a little while longer.....

i don't know...i think after so long, i just wanna sit in a corner a cry for a while...re-live what little i remember....cos up to now, i'm still in a sort of identity crisis...

i mean, everyone has their roles in their world....sportsman, break dancers, high scoring students, musicians; each with their own social circles....each with their unique area of expertise....but everywhere i go....i don't fit in...i don't know....as much as i hate the idea of it, but there is a part that is afraid of being looked down at.

"nerd""loser""loner""anti-social".....pple who look at me drawing and just telling me crap about it(i mean, it's bloody obvious that i'm not drawing original stuff...i have the BLOODY PICTURE IN FRONT OF ME....).....i seriously wonder what pple think, everytime someone looks at me.....i don't really know...a part of me just keeps creating speculations on what they're thinking...and it ain't pretty....every time i carry my fencing stuff....i'm so sure someone talks behind my back......coverd in the shadow of others almost everytime....

i think i'll go cry now.....

(Titus: crap, he's in his mood swings again)
[Leon: well, can't you do anything about it?]
(T: i can't make him snap out of it, why not you try slapping him a few times)
[L: won't work on him, would just make it worse...]
(T:so peachy.....great.....we'll just wait till he goes back to sch again...he'll have to get over it by then....he only really thinks when he's home anyway)
[L:...tch, fine]