origin

come on. admit it. you also wonder about your origin. why you were born, why it was when,what happens if you weren't born.

i had dinner with my parents and just asked them a few questions about myself. honestly, a lot of times i ponder on many of the important questions around origin. what if i were my brother and he was me? what if i wasn't born? what if i was born earlier?

i'll never be in youth now, i'll live through another age of youth.
my parents wouldn't work so hard now.
i can't answer the third question.

you might find it funny, but these questions really cause me to think. i spend almost 6 of 7 days worrying about others, so i guess i don't really realize anything about myself. and i always compare now to my brother's time, cos honestly, i wanted to be like him.

don't you always wonder all the "what if"s in your life over you birth...already just for my primary school life i have uncountable number of "what if"s...for all i know i could already be attached in a alternate reality (which does scare me now thinking about it)

i've lost all understanding of self at most points of my life....if i reflect about my life, my primary self was arrogant, proud and naive; my secondary life is riddled with change; and now, i still have almost no idea who i am (apart that i still are naive). so lets just let this lie here. i'll spend my life worrying about someone else, apparently this works so much better for me.